Proud to be British!
As I sit here this evening watching the Pride of Britain Awards, I really do have to say that I’m proud to be British. We really have some fantastic people and all too often this is outweighed by the bad in our communities!! Often its the smallest of things that people do, (which may seem like nothing to them) that make such a difference to others. Sometime I think we need to step back from our lives and realise that there are lots of people far worse off than ourselves and we need to ask ourselves if there is anything we can do to help.
Before I started watching PoBA I was feeling quite low and sorry for myself after another day of Baby Bean refusing her food (dinner and tea) and generally being a defiant little monkey (praise didn’t last long did it!) but I am so lucky, I have a gorgeous husband who makes me very happy, I have a handsome, loving and very helpful step-son and I have a beautiful daughter who sets me new challenges and makes me laugh everyday! Life’s not so bad really!!!
A walk in the park . . .
When you’re an adult you sometimes forget just how much fun it was to be a child and how simple having fun can be. This afternoon (after not eating dinner and before not eating tea!) Baby Bean and myself went for a walk in the park and had an absolute blast. Thanks to the time of year there were leaves scattered all around, I picked them up in handfuls and threw them over Baby Bean’s head to be rewarded with giggles galore. She then tried to do it herself but only with one leaf at a time – not quite the same but she tried nonetheless!! We ran through the leaves kicking them everywhere, rolled down the hills, BB climbed trees (with my assistance – she is only 16months!) and we blew the “fairies” around from the dandelions. Walking home she bent down to smell flowers and of her own accord she carried a leaf all the way home and put it on the top of her toy box! We laughed and giggled and I felt totally connected to her – and for that half an hour or so, I actually felt like a child again. I forgot all about the pile of ironing with my name on it, I forgot about the endless emails awaiting replies, the bills waiting to be paid and the shopping that needed doing. Thank you Baby Bean I had lots of fun today xxxx
Well, at least I did until you didn’t eat your tea! I guess we can’t have everything xx
Is it wrong to be a “little” bit happy that Baby Bean is under the weather?
That probably sounds awful I know but please let me explain! Usually Baby Bean is very much like Mummy, fiercely independant, always on the go – far too busy to just sit and have a cuddle! But at the moment thanks to the four front teeth that have finally decided to make an appearance in the last couple of weeks I think she is feeling a bit sorry for herself, a little bit weepy and very much a mummy’s girl. This afternoon she has hardly left my side and has spent most of the time just cuddling up with me on the sofa, I LOVE IT!!! Finally I get to do what I’ve always wanted, just cuddle her to bits and for her to want to be cuddled.
For as long as I can remember I dreamt of being a mummy and always in my dreams I envisaged my child/children running to me with open arms wanting a big cuddle – but no, not my Baby Bean. Normally if I try to cuddle her she says “no no” and pushes my arms out of the way. I wouldn’t say I necessarily feel rejected because I know that she loves me but it still feels pretty rotten! Our poor kids can never win really, one minute we want them to get out from under our feet and be independant but the minute they do we want them to be our babies and “need” us again.
So you see I’m not really a mean mummy but I’m loving these cuddles, so although I don’t want her to be really poorly, I quite like that she’s not feeling 100%!!
Nil by mouth sucks . . . but I’m still here!
Those of you who have read my previous posts will know that unfortunately I have recently suffered a “missed miscarriage” – well yesterday I had to go to hospital to have a small op to have the remaining pregnancy removed. Finally it has put an end to a really horrible couple of weeks so now I feel like I can move on with my life.
However, getting back to my “title” nil by mouth really sucks! Initially I was supposed to be in hospital at 7am on the emergency list which meant that I would fit in with the list of other emergencies so if someone turned up with half their leg missing they would obviously take precedence over me. It also meant that I wasn’t allowed to eat after midnight the evening before. BUT I was given a lifeline and told that I could attend a different hospital in the afternoon and so was allowed to have “one piece of toast” at 7am on the morning of the op. To begin with I was ecstatic (I’m a taurus, I like food!) but after setting my alarm to get up and eat said piece of toast I wasn’t so sure it was a great idea as it totally kickstarted my metabolism and made me hungrier than ever. It’s totally true that when you are denied something, it’s all you can think about. I sat down to feed Baby Bean her breakfast and couldn’t help myself licking the lid of her yoghurt. Then hubby came home to collect me and promptly raided the cupboards in front of me, eating everything I tried to avoid all morning and just to make matters worse, when we dropped Baby Bean off at my In-laws, I was greeted by the smell of the lovely casserole they were having for lunch. Torture!
I then spent the next 4 hours waiting for my turn, reading my magazines – skipping the adverts for food and chocolate – watching members of the nursing staff walking past with their packed lunches planning how to mug them!
Finally, my heart was beating so loud I could hear it before they had even connected the wires to the machine. I’ve had bigger operations before but since having Baby Bean I have become so emotional and basically a “wuss” I had got it into my head that I wouldn’t wake up and see my family again – I even wrote them a letter just in case!! But thankfully 45 minutes after going “to sleep” I woke up dreaming I was dancing in a club (well it’s been a while!) and when back on the ward was presented with two Rich Tea biscuits and a cheese and cucumber sandwich! Not quite what I’d been dreaming about all day but to be honest I was about ready to eat my slipper!
On arriving home there was a very excited Baby Bean waiting to give me a hug, followed by Curly who had apparently been helping her with her “jumping” finally she had got both feet off the ground! My Mum had bought me some lovely flowers and had a lovely lasagne waiting. I was truly “home” and very happy at that! (Although I did feel like I’d been kicked in the stomach by a donkey but that kind of spoils the story!) xx
